Original and individualistic - ‘out of the mainstream’
Confidant is one of a group of Character Types that we call Visionaries. The Visionaries, in turn, form a group within our overall Character Family as shown right:
The Confidant has two contrary characteristics, curiosity and shyness. They love to know what's going on, feel excluded if not kept informed but do not like to be the centre of attention. The Confidant always wants to be invited to the party - even though the chances are they won't show up!
There is a sensitive, caring side to the Confidant that means they will see the interconnections between people and pick up on the verbal and non-verbal cues. The Confidant prefers not to be constrained by rules and regulations and does not like only routine. Others will see the Confidant as totally flexible, gentle and difficult to understand. The Confidant likes to do things in their own way and just get on with it, uninhibited and not micromanaged.
The Confidant would not appreciate criticism or a hard task-master. Yet there is a crusading side to the Confidant which would surprise even those who knew the person well. When a personal value, or belief is trodden on, then the Confidant can become more outspoken and vocal. Their values are usually so well hidden that the other person may not realise, but the Confidant becomes like a champion of the cause and will become expressive, animated and direct.
The Confidant values most those who take the time, trouble and effort to really get to know them. Only those who are allowed through the Confidant 'assault course' will get genuinely close. To others the Confidant will seem like a gentle enigma. The Confidant will often display their reactions to their feelings, rather than their actual feelings, and may bottle things up which will only become apparent later.
A Confidant does not like to be categorised. They value their autonomy, and feel 'different,' and any system, (including this one), which tries to 'define' or 'explain' them would be denigrated. The Confidant would say, 'You can't put me in a box, I'm different,' indeed they would all say this.
The Confidant is a special, sensitive individual who needs a role that is far more than a job. The Confidant needs to feel that everything they do in their lives is in accordance with their strongly-felt value systems, and is moving them and/or others in a positive, growth-oriented direction. They are driven to do something meaningful and purposeful with their lives. The Confidant will be happiest in roles which allow them to live their daily lives in accordance with their values, and which work towards a vision or the greater good.
Confidants are driven by values and loyalty - they must ‘buy-in.’ Then they will work long and hard for the cause, often quietly behind the scenes and offering more than just getting the tasks done - they are like glue and offer support, help and empathy way beyond their job ‘remit.’ Cautious in the beginning of a relationship, a Confidant will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. Confidants are adaptable and congenial, unless a principle has been violated, in which case they become uncharacteristically harsh and crusading defenders of their values.
The Confidant is extremely complex being deep and private yet needing to know and (more importantly to them) feel they belong. This sense of belonging brings out all their best qualities and they will offer long-term commitment and loyalty way beyond what we could reasonably expect. However they do not like work for work’s sake nor feeling undervalued or just one of the masses. The Confidant is special and s/he will need to feel connected up to the inner core of the organisation and feel certain that what they do (however mundane) has real meaning and value to them.