Recruitment vs Dating: Same Search, Different Spark

​A couple of weeks ago, I popped along to my local cinema to see Materialists, an easy-watch romcom starring the ever-beautiful Dakota Johnson, alongside Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans (need I say more?). Armed with a glass of bubbles (or two), I was fully expecting a bit of fluff, but what I didn’t expect was to walk out comparing the plot to both my professional world of recruitment and my personal one… dating.

Without giving too much away, Dakota plays a matchmaker, ironic because she doesn’t date herself. That is, until she meets two men: Pedro, the charming bachelor who ticks all the boxes and looks perfect on paper, and her ex, who doesn’t quite fit the list, but makes her feel all the right things.

And that got me thinking: are we too focused on the checklist, in both dating and recruitment?

After nine years as a recruiter (and yes, as a single woman dipping a toe into the Sydney dating pool), I’m seeing some clear parallels. Whether you’re searching for the perfect partner or the perfect job, today’s landscape is a lot. There’s social media, online dating, matchmaking agencies (if your wallet allows), and of course, job boards, recruiters, networking events, and coffee meetings. Putting yourself out there can be daunting and, frankly, exhausting; you start to wonder if you’re just not "swipe-right" enough.

On the job front, candidates are applying left, right and centre, often hearing nothing back. If they don’t tick every single box, they’re ghosted, or passed over for someone who does. As a recruiter, I’m not immune either. I’ll pop up an ad and end up reviewing applicants like I’m on Bumble - swiping (nicely, of course), searching for that magic combo of skills: digital, SEO, content, events, stakeholder management, agency experience, budget management, and if they can whip up a few designs in Canva too, even better!

Honestly, my dating checklist is probably just as long. Are we all just asking too much?

So maybe Materialists hit the nail on the head. Maybe it’s not about chasing the person (or job) that looks right on paper, but the one that feels right. One that gives you spark and security, or at least, somewhere in that ballpark.

Whether you’re looking for love or your next big role, the trick might just be finding the courage to back yourself, trust the process, and remember that the “perfect” fit might not always be the one you expected.